“I always want to stick to my husband. After getting married, I rely on him more and more, but he seems to be more and more disgusted with me. Am I wrong to do this?”
In real life, there are probably many women facing the same confusion.
Being too distant or too close can both lead to difficulties in a relationship, a dilemma faced by most lovers.
Vicky, a friend of mine, recently wrote me a letter sharing her troubles. Here is an excerpt from her letter:
I’ve been married to my husband for exactly two years. Before marriage, I had my own career and job. However, after marriage, in order to take better care of him, I chose to give up my career and focus on our family.
But I found that after focusing on the family, I felt more insecure. Therefore, I became more dependent on him, always wanting to know his whereabouts. Sometimes, when he came home late from work, I would worry excessively, fearing he would leave me.
Perhaps my love for him was too intense, causing him to want to escape. Many times, I noticed him deliberately distancing himself from me. I felt aggrieved and always wanted to question him about the reasons. However, the more I questioned him, the more he wanted to escape.
Due to this issue, we have had significant conflicts recently, resulting in a cold war lasting for half a month. He still hasn’t come back to me.
Will my marriage end here? Is it wrong to deeply love a man? Why does he seem so disgusted with me? Shouldn’t I depend on him?
After hearing her story, everyone may have different feelings. But what I want to say is that loving a man too deeply can lead to anxiety.
By exerting too much pressure on the other person, they will constantly want to escape. Even between the closest people, maintaining an appropriate distance is crucial. This allows both individuals to have the freedom to explore new things. If you burden the other person too much, they may choose to leave.
True love is not about restrictions but about freedom. If a woman is overly dependent in a relationship, it can easily overwhelm a man.
Being overly passionate in love can be overwhelming. Therefore, in a relationship, a woman should learn to be cool to attract a man closer.
Love is like holding sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it slips away. Giving it space allows it to grow.
Many people fail to understand this in real life, believing that love means being glued together every day. But that’s not the reality.
Real love is about freedom, not restrictions.
So, love your partner with seven parts and love yourself with three parts. Even if you love a man deeply, don’t show it too strongly. Keep your love hidden inside to make a man care more about you.
Too much love can lead to a backlash. Sometimes, don’t hurt the other person or yourself because of love.
As a woman, learning to be indifferent to a man can make him more interested in you.
Psychological studies show that couples need a comfortable zone in a relationship, where they can be intimate or distant without affecting their feelings. Therefore, the best way to keep a man is to be cool.
Indifference Strengthens the Bond Between Two People
Some women, once in love, fear the other person leaving, so they hold on tightly. But over time, your restrictions can affect the other person’s life and work.
As a result, the man’s affection for you diminishes. This approach is the most foolish. In a relationship, maintaining a suitable distance is crucial. If a man truly loves you, he will come to you when he is free or done with work. If he refuses to do so, it shows he doesn’t love you. Such a relationship doesn’t need to be pursued. True love is about trust, giving each other enough space and time. Good love requires mutual growth, not just clinging to one another.
Being cool doesn’t mean being indifferent. Sometimes, maintaining an appropriate distance can make the other person care more about you. Always being together can diminish the desire to understand each other. The initial freshness usually lasts for a month or two. If the relationship remains happy after this period, it proves to be true love. Therefore, in a relationship, love boldly but give each other enough space. Maintaining a distance is a way of life in love.
The Tighter You Hold, the Faster It Slips Away
A woman’s self-respect is more important than her dowry or beauty.
As a woman, don’t be too humble in front of a man. Love, or lack thereof, is simple and pure. If someone truly loves you, they won’t make you worry or fear. When someone doesn’t love you, your entanglement is meaningless. A person who loves you will provide you with a sense of security, while someone who doesn’t will make excuses to avoid you.
This is the key difference. In real life, women should not lose themselves or the other person due to excessive love. Over time, your deep love can turn into the other person’s disgust. Learn to maintain a certain distance to make your relationship last longer and happier.
The tighter you hold onto emotions, the faster they slip away. Conflicts and arguments increase because both individuals lack the space and time to breathe, leading to the eventual breakdown of the relationship.
Therefore, I hope all men and women in love can understand that love is not about restrictions but about freedom. Never hurt each other in the name of love, and never use love to hinder each other’s growth.
For women, the best state is to become better every day. Spend time on yourself, don’t be too clingy, and give a man the right space. He will love you more. Being cool towards a man can increase his interest in you. Conversely, the more you cling, the more he wants to escape. This is something everyone must understand in love in order to grasp happiness securely.