Marriage is especially important for women. Do women need to understand their in-laws before getting married? Different people have different answers to this question. Some say, “Marriage is about two people, you don’t need to understand the in-laws too much since you’re not living with them.” Others say, “Marriage isn’t just about two people; it’s about two families, so understanding the in-laws before marriage is necessary.”
I lean towards the latter answer because marriage is a lifelong commitment, and meeting good in-laws is a woman’s greatest blessing. There is a saying, “Every family has its own challenges.” Sometimes, too many family conflicts can make it hard to breathe.
Only smart women, when getting married, won’t bring these items to their in-laws’ house.
Constant Nagging Habits
Some people are used to nagging at home, so they can’t change this habit when they go to their in-laws’ house. Some women, after marrying into their in-laws’ family, act like the mistress of the house and constantly criticize things they don’t approve of.
In-laws’ families are different from one’s own family, each with different habits. They say a married daughter is like spilled water; true, but in reality, there are still significant differences between the in-laws’ and one’s own family.
A woman who nags too much in her in-laws’ house will eventually have major conflicts with her in-laws because, after all, they are the elders in this household, and the daughter-in-law should respect them fully.
I have a friend who is relatively strong-willed but kind-hearted. Even after marriage, her character remained the same. She was used to being a strong woman at home and started worrying about many things in her in-laws’ house. She kept nagging every day. One day, her mother-in-law couldn’t stand it and said, “We’re not dead yet. When is it your turn to dictate in this house?”
After hearing her mother-in-law’s words, she felt troubled because she was actually trying to do good for the family, but inadvertently caused trouble. After entering her in-laws’ house, this is a common mistake many women make—treating their in-laws’ house like their own family’s. In reality, there are many subtle differences between the two, and as a woman, one must learn to be clever to maintain a harmonious family.
Not Using Family Money to Support In-Laws
Using family money to support the in-laws is the dumbest thing a woman can do because marriage is about love, not charity. There’s a saying, “Only crying children get candy.”
After a woman marries into her in-laws’ family, she shouldn’t appear too capable or always take the lead in everything. Because smart women know to leave themselves a way out.
During the initial stages of love, everything seems sweet, but when the couple truly enters into marriage, they realize that life involves many daily struggles.
A woman who is too sensible will end up not being cherished by others. The more you give, the more the other person may devalue you, even thinking that everything you do is expected. Marriage should be a place for a woman to grow, not a cage that restricts her freedom.
Not using family money to support the in-laws is also a way of showing respect to one’s own family. Family money and in-laws’ money shouldn’t be mixed up. Although two families become relatives, their lives are still separate, so mutual respect is the best choice. A good marriage is not about charity but mutual benefit.
Not Bringing Family Conflicts to the In-Laws
Every family has its own challenges, and conflicts, but when faced with them, we should learn to resolve them instead of avoiding them. Family conflicts from one’s own family should not be shared with the in-laws because the family environments are different.
After coming to the in-laws’ house, it’s like entering a new family. As the saying goes, “Harmony brings prosperity to the family.” The happiness of a family requires the collective effort of everyone; trivial matters shouldn’t cause a huge fuss.
Family conflicts from one’s own family should be dealt with there and not brought to the in-laws’ house. This is a way of showing respect and understanding to the in-laws. As a daughter-in-law, one should strive to maintain the happy lives of both families and not create conflicts frequently, which will only disturb the peace of the family.
Smart women know how to maintain the happiness of a family and how to manage a household. Marriage is the most important event in life and a woman’s lifelong choice. A virtuous wife makes for a happy marriage.
Smart women understand how to maintain the happiness of both families and make life better. There will always be fundamental differences between one’s own family and the in-laws’ family, so when a woman marries into her in-laws’ family, she should learn to be cautious.
Not bringing these items to the in-laws’ house during marriage is a way of showing respect to the in-laws and to oneself. I hope all young women can understand the challenges of marriage, nurture happiness, and be treated well in marriage.