Guy said: “The only gift love needs is love itself.”
Before thinking about starting a relationship, we need to ask ourselves if we really love the other person. Only two people who truly love each other will feel a spark of happiness when they’re together.
We often see this in life.
For some men, maybe it’s because a woman is nice and suitable for marriage; maybe it’s because their parents like her; or maybe it’s because she can bring them opportunities and benefits. So, men don’t look into their own hearts and start a relationship.
For some women, maybe they think the man is really good to them; maybe it’s because the man is financially well-off; or maybe it’s because marrying this man can change their lives.
In short, before starting a relationship, we need to look into our own hearts and make a decision after careful consideration in a rational state.
Maybe some people will say: “Since we’re free to date, what’s there to consider? As long as both of you are happy together, it’s fine. If you don’t like each other later, you can just break up.”
This kind of thinking is the most irresponsible. We all know that love can numb people. When we fall in love for the first time, we may be lost and not understand the meaning of love, but at least our hearts are genuine and we’ll maintain a sincere heart when we’re together.
But after experiencing love more times, our attitude towards love becomes more casual, and we may even think that it’s no big deal to have another relationship, and it’s fine to try it out if we like it.
You think having multiple relationships doesn’t affect you, but it actually has a huge impact on your thinking without you realizing it.
This is why some people get married after one or two relationships, while others date many times but haven’t found the right person to marry, and their requirements keep getting higher.
So, when deciding to start a relationship, there are some small details you should prepare for. Otherwise, it will definitely affect your relationship and even cause unnecessary harm.
Look Into Your Heart
Zangwill said: “Love at first sight is the only true love; if you hesitate, it’s not.”
Sometimes, we might feel a rush of excitement when we see someone for the first time and feel like we’ve fallen in love. But if we blindly accept someone and start a relationship like this, it might sound romantic, but it’s also irresponsible.
Some excitement is just a moment, but after getting to know each other, this excitement quickly disappears, and our hearts can’t withstand any more waves. Such a fragile relationship is best not started.
Before starting a relationship, this is something you should prepare for: look into your own heart and think carefully about whether you’re just impulsive or if you really like the other person before accepting this relationship.
This kind of preparation can also avoid emotional misunderstandings and prevent wasting each other’s time and feelings.
Is Your Relationship Equal?
Love is built on an equal relationship. If this relationship loses its balance, the love will start to tilt. If there’s no basic respect between lovers, how can they be together?
Deng Yingchao once said: “True and pure love must include respect for the labor and profession of the person you love.”
A friend of mine was pressured by her parents to get married, so they introduced her to some potential partners. One of the men came from a good family and had a good job. They both liked each other during their blind date, so they decided to continue dating.
But during their time together, my friend discovered a very important problem: the guy seemed to look down on her job. He even said that since her salary was low anyway, she should just quit her job if they got married.
It was because of this detail that my friend decisively gave up on the relationship.
Before starting a relationship, you must see clearly if your relationship is equal.
If You Choose a Relationship, Don’t Be Too Critical
T. Brown said: “If you like it, you shouldn’t be too picky, because love isn’t made under a magnifying glass.”
Many people in life don’t understand this. Before getting together, they think the other person has many good qualities, and even if they have some flaws, they can ignore them. They always think they can ignore it.
But once they’re together, it’s not the same. After getting used to the other person’s good qualities, their attention shifts to those flaws. The more they care, the more picky they become, even if they promised before that they wouldn’t be.
Often, this kind of criticism won’t make the other person willingly change themselves, but will instead destroy the relationship.
If you decide to be together, you have to be prepared for this: don’t be too critical of each other, and don’t use a magnifying glass to pick apart the relationship.
Plautus said: “Controlling love with reason appropriately is beneficial, but recklessly abusing love is harmful.”
When it comes to love, even if you like someone very much and want to be with them, you should control your mind to some extent and consider in a rational way whether this love should begin. You should also be prepared before starting it.
Although dating doesn’t mean marriage, you should be responsible for yourself and your relationship.