When we get married, men always make vows to be faithful to their spouses and love them. However, many people who make these vows cannot keep them.
We may have experienced this dilemma: can you accept your partner’s emotional infidelity or physical infidelity? If you truly want to be with someone, you cannot accept either.
However, we must acknowledge one thing: people change, and a promise that remains unchanged cannot keep up with a heart that is prone to change.
Sometimes, no matter how much you trust your partner, you cannot guarantee that there will be no betrayal.
When there is betrayal, you should face your mistakes instead of shifting the blame to your partner.
It’s like when a man cheats on his wife and then says it’s because his wife has become unattractive and lost her charm; or he was tempted and made a mistake; or he even says he found true love outside of marriage.
A single phrase, “We are true love,” becomes an excuse for betraying marriage. So, do extramarital relationships really have true love? Three 40-year-old men tell the truth.
Mr. Wang: “We were blinded by appearances.”
I’ve been married for over a decade. At first, our family’s financial situation wasn’t great, especially when we had kids. My mom didn’t want to help take care of the kids, so my wife had to quit her job to take care of them.
Taking care of kids is really tough, and my wife didn’t have time to dress up or take care of herself. Plus, our financial situation was tight, and we had to be frugal.
As time went by, my wife got used to being frugal, and even when our financial situation improved, she still wouldn’t spend money on herself, preferring to save it for the kids.
Later, a new colleague joined our company, and she was assigned to my team. She was young, beautiful, outgoing, and loved to laugh. As we spent more time together, I got infected by her enthusiasm. She knew I was married, but she said she wouldn’t tell my wife. At that time, I really thought I had found true love.
However, her demands kept increasing—buying things, traveling, and eventually, she pressured me to get a divorce.
It wasn’t until then that I realized what true love was—just an illusion, and I was blinded by appearances. I regret my infidelity and hurting my wife. Now, I just want to make amends with my wife, and after experiencing some things, I know how difficult it is to maintain a marriage for over a decade, only to have it ruined by me.
Mr. Chen: “It was just a mutual benefit.”
If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t do it again—hurt my wife, my kids, and my family. Now, my parents are angry with me, my wife won’t forgive me, and my kids don’t even want to talk to me.
It happened at a class reunion, where I met a woman I had a crush on in the past. She added me on WeChat, and I thought that was it. But later, I was under a lot of work pressure, and my wife didn’t understand me. She initiated a chat with me, and we started talking.
I thought I had fallen in love with her again, and I ended up betraying my marriage. I was driven by a lucky psychology, thinking I was in love again.
However, it was later revealed that she was just using me to get back at her husband. I was devastated and begged my wife for forgiveness, but she said she was already heartbroken. I don’t blame her; I blame myself for not cherishing our relationship.
Mr. Lin: “I thought it was true love, but in the end, I lost everything.”
Sometimes, “money” is not a good thing; it made me overlook some people’s kindness and ignore their flaws.
After getting married, our family’s financial situation was okay, and my wife quit her job to take care of our kids. After having kids, my wife would always say I didn’t take care of them, and I thought she was being too sensitive.
As time went by, our conflicts increased, and I met a young woman, Xiao Qing, who was gentle and understanding. Compared to my wife, I thought she was my angel.
We quickly got together, and I thought we were truly in love. I was very generous to her, buying her whatever she wanted, and I always felt like I was doing her a favor.
Later, I divorced my wife for her, but soon, I lost contact with her. It was then that I realized she was just using me for my money and had no intention of marrying me.
I thought it was true love, but in the end, I lost everything. Although I regret getting a divorce, I’m too ashamed to face my wife again.
In those marriages that have been betrayed, there is always a feeling: we thought our love was perfect, but it turned out to be fragile. Love starts with hope and ends with despair.
The temptation of extramarital affairs makes them forget their original intentions and the vows they made.
It’s said that the promises we make are debts we owe, but some people don’t want to pay them back, and instead, they keep owing more, until both parties are hurt in the end.
Montaigne said, “A perfect marriage is a sweet union in life, full of loyalty, faithfulness, and countless benefits and reliable help, as well as mutual obligations.”
However, some people only realize this too late, and when they do, it’s too late to cherish what they had, and they can only watch it slip away.
Do extramarital relationships have true love? It’s like Shakespeare said, “Many things in life, the enthusiasm we have when pursuing them is stronger than when we finally get them.”
At first, we think it’s true love, but in the end, it gives us a deadly blow, making us see reality.
Of course, there’s no absolute answer, and maybe there is true love, but it’s extremely rare, and using infidelity to pursue true love is not glorious.