Enhancing Connection in Long-Distance Relationships: Communication Strategies
Due to the inability to meet frequently, communication is particularly important in long-distance relationships.
A friend said:
“I have been dating my girlfriend for three months, but we are in different cities. We can meet two or three times a month. Usually, we communicate more through phone calls and video chats. Because we both have to work during the day, I only call her every night, and we talk for about half an hour to an hour.
But recently, I have been a little troubled. I found that she only listens and doesn’t speak on the phone. I know her work is indeed very hard, but does she really have no energy to talk? Sometimes, after I finish talking, both sides fall silent, and she says to me, ‘Are we just going to stay silent after spending money on the call?’
I don’t know why this is happening. What is the problem? What should I do to change it?”
In response, I have the following considerations:
I do not have a complete understanding of the foundation of your relationship and your previous interactions. With incomplete information, I can only make general suggestions. After you make adjustments, observe the other person’s response and make further plans.
1. Avoid Communication Stagnation
Due to the tendency for long-distance relationships to cause a lack of security, it is necessary to set a fixed communication time. However, it is important not to be overly rigid to avoid losing the freshness and anticipation, thus losing the romance that should be present in the early stages of love and entering a period of fatigue too soon.
How to avoid stagnation?
First, manage the frequency of communication.
It is not necessary to communicate every day. The interaction between two people is like a dance, with give and take, ebb and flow.
Do not always be the one to initiate communication. Occasionally, you can be a little distant when busy. If you suddenly disappear, she will surely find it strange, and her curiosity about you will be piqued, unable to resist guessing what’s going on with you. Naturally, her attention will be focused back on you.
When you reappear next time, remember to explain proactively what you were busy with before, to avoid her thinking that you are not putting her at heart.
This kind of communication rhythm not only creates small ups and downs, increasing her attention to this relationship, but also does not make her feel insecure.
Second, try different communication methods.
In addition to using the phone, you can occasionally write letters, adding a touch of vintage romance. Or frequently video chat, allowing the other person to visually feel your care and love, even if you don’t speak, just gently looking into her eyes can convey a different feeling.
2. Beyond Self-Centric Conversations
Do not only talk about yourself; communication is two-way. If she does not respond, it is likely that she is not interested in what you are saying.
Have you considered what she wants to hear? Do you know what she needs at the moment? Do you understand what interests her? Catering to her interests will definitely benefit the deepening of the relationship.
The purpose of your communication is to deepen the relationship and build attraction towards you. Therefore, communication should revolve around this goal. Talk about what she is interested in, express your appreciation, affection, and concern for her, or demonstrate your unique value.
When she is silent, you can ask with care, “Darling, what’s wrong? Are you tired? Did something unpleasant happen?” If you have any concerns or doubts about her reaction, express them immediately, and do not keep guessing in your mind. If she is not in the right mood, but you pretend not to notice, she may think that you are not attentive or caring enough. She might be waiting for you to ask.
3. Maximizing Face-to-Face Interactions
Video and phone calls are not as effective as meeting in person. After all, love cannot be separated from physical attachment and interaction. During the honeymoon phase, meeting only two or three times a month is unlikely to fulfill emotional needs. If possible, ensure at least one meeting per week.
If your girlfriend likes you and cares about this relationship, she should also show some changes after you make the above adjustments.
If she remains indifferent to your changes, still showing little interest, then consider whether she really likes you. It is also possible that she has other potential options. It is necessary to observe the situation before making further decisions.
In conclusion, communication is an art, especially in long-distance relationships.
Good luck!