A male friend once asked me, “I’m shy, not good-looking, and come from an average family. I feel like no girl would like me. What should I do?”
This guy’s lack of confidence is evident.
Certainly, external conditions matter, and being born with less can be frustrating. They say life is a skill, and as someone who believes in reincarnation, I think our present possessions and experiences are related to our past lives. At least this mindset can ease our frustrations. Accepting the so-called unfairness from birth and fully embracing oneself is the foundation of rebuilding confidence.
Actually, who is perfect? You may see someone’s physical perfection, but not their hidden flaws. Everyone has their shortcomings.
In relationships, external conditions are not the key to winning love. Look around, there are plenty of beautiful women with less-attractive men. Conversely, people with great overall conditions might struggle to find true love. Why?
I believe:
First, being introverted or extroverted, talkative or not, are just surface traits and not the fundamental traits that determine a person’s charm.
For example, my husband is not a great talker, but when I fell for him, I found his silence unique and mysterious, inspiring curiosity. It’s like a modest cotton dress in a crowd of colorful outfits, attracting those with an eye for treasure.
So, introversion is not the issue. The key is whether you have enough personal charm. If you have a rich and profound soul, you’ll exude charm even without speaking.
Second, when it comes to choosing a partner, a man’s appearance is not as crucial as a woman’s. As long as a man is clean, well-dressed, and presents himself appropriately, that’s enough. Compared to looks, what women find attractive in men is capability, maturity, emotional resonance, security, and care. Of course, the better the career and material wealth, the better.
Third, even if you’re tall, handsome, and articulate, without internal support, you’re just superficial. A girl who doesn’t desire vanity and wants a stable life will avoid such a man.
So, for insecure men, here are some suggestions:
1. Boost Your Confidence
Don’t think being quiet is a big flaw. When you see it as a bad thing, how can others appreciate it? Personality traits are neither good nor bad. When you exude confidence, even freckles become charming. Find and explore your strengths, focus on your shining points, and make them shine brighter.
2. Compensate for Verbal Shortcomings
Being inarticulate can hinder communication. However, communication isn’t just about language. With advanced technology, written communication has become more frequent and convenient than face-to-face interaction. Even in face-to-face communication, your expressions, eye contact, and body language can convey your feelings. Women are sensitive, and sometimes, a glance is enough for mutual understanding.
3. Enhance Overall Strengths
As long as you’re a valuable man, you won’t struggle to find a girl. Aim for:
First, being considerate, caring, and compassionate. Giving women a good emotional experience is essential.
No matter how outstanding a woman is, she desires love and care. When she’s used to your care, leaving won’t be easy. This doesn’t require wealth or a successful career, just genuine care.
When she’s in pain, quietly passing her a cup of warm water often has a more touching effect than an expensive gift from a wealthy man.
Second, devote yourself to work and strive to be excellent in any field. Successful careers bring their own shine.
Being successful in your career is the most compelling proof of your abilities. Which woman doesn’t admire a capable man? Even if you have some flaws in appearance or character, you won’t struggle to find someone willing to accept you.
Third, focus on making money. As long as it’s not through unethical means, earning money is a sign of capability. Financial stability, fidelity, and a positive outlook make a high-quality man.
When conditions are similar, women will naturally choose the wealthier man. This isn’t about being materialistic. Who doesn’t want financial security for a better life and future children? It’s human nature.
In conclusion, build confidence, explore your strengths, improve communication skills, and enhance your overall capabilities. You’ll definitely find the love that awaits you!