Nobel laureate Mo Yan once wrote a poem that said:
“I hide my deepest words, you don’t understand me, and I don’t blame you.”
Although I won’t blame you for not understanding me, everyone wants to be understood by someone else. Even Mo Yan, a Nobel laureate, thinks it’s great to have someone who understands him.
Although the poem doesn’t explicitly express some inner thoughts, it reveals a deep longing for someone who understands.
When men and women talk about love, they also want to understand each other and have a deep connection.
When you find someone who understands you, you’ll feel extremely happy because you think you’ve found the right person.
Actually, finding the right person can take time. It’s not easy to find someone who’s a perfect match in a sea of people. It’s even harder to find someone who’s not only a good match but also suitable.
Sometimes, being suitable also takes time. You two need to go through many things together, and after grinding and polishing each other, you’ll become more and more compatible.
Long-term Relationships Can Help You Understand Someone
Long-term relationships can help you understand another person.
“A long journey can test a horse’s strength, and a long time can reveal a person’s heart.”
The longer you walk, the more you’ll know a horse’s endurance. The longer you’re together, the more you’ll know what kind of person the other is.
Actually, long-term relationships can help you understand the other person’s thoughts and feelings. When you understand the other person’s inner world, you’ll be able to guess what they’ll do next, and you’ll be able to respond accordingly. This is when you’ll have a deep connection.
Maybe at the beginning, you really liked the other person, but you didn’t know what they’d do next because you were still strangers.
So, long-term relationships can help you understand someone, and when you understand them, you’ll realize that you’re emotionally intimate. At this point, your connection will grow stronger.
Chen Gu said:
“Some people understand each other more and more, and then love each other more and more.”
When you understand someone, you’ll feel more and more attracted to them. At this point, you’ll love them more and more. Sometimes, even if they do something wrong, you’ll still cooperate with them, making them feel like you’re on the same wavelength.
So, long-term relationships can help you understand someone and deepen your emotions.
Because of Love, You’re Willing to Understand
Long-term relationships make you willing to understand the other person because you love them. Mutual understanding builds a deep connection between two people.
Sometimes, it’s because you love someone that you’re willing to understand them. If you don’t like someone, you won’t recognize their actions, and you won’t be willing to understand their inner world.
When you’re not willing to understand the other person, you’ll find that you and the other person will become more and more distant. But if you really love someone, even if you don’t accept some things they do at first, you’ll try to accept them over time. You might even learn from them, and you’ll have more and more of a connection.
Some people get married and find that they have less and less to talk about. It’s not because their feelings have become dull after marriage, but because they didn’t have much emotional connection to begin with. Maybe they just got married for the sake of getting married.
After getting married, they don’t want to understand each other anymore because they don’t love each other, and their emotions will face a series of crises.
So, sometimes we should find someone we love, rather than just someone suitable. If you love someone, even if you don’t think they’re suitable at first, you’ll be willing to understand them over time, and you’ll have more and more of a connection.
Mutual Understanding is a True Emotional Expression
Mutual understanding is a true emotional expression. When you really love someone, you’ll know what they’re thinking deep down.
I’ve had this feeling in relationships:
When someone loves you, they’ll know what you want to do, and they’ll even do some things for you to help you achieve your goals.
But when someone doesn’t love you, you’ll find that they’ll pretend not to see what you’re doing, and even if they do see it, they’ll pretend they don’t know. At this point, you’ll have to face many things alone, and you’ll feel like the other person is very stupid. Sometimes you’ll think they don’t understand you anymore, but in reality, they just don’t have feelings for you.
When someone has you in their heart, they’ll pay attention to your every move, and that’s how mutual understanding comes about. It’s a true emotional expression.
When two people are emotionally intimate, mutual understanding will come naturally. It’s because they have feelings for each other that they’re willing to research each other, and at this point, they’ll become more and more compatible.
If we see couples or married couples around us who often argue, we might think they’re not suitable for each other. But sometimes it’s not that they’re not suitable, but that their emotions haven’t reached a deep level. Maybe they never really loved each other, so they don’t have mutual understanding.
“A drop of water can penetrate a stone, but it takes time.”
Mutual understanding isn’t about finding someone who’s perfectly suitable from the start. It’s about two people grinding and polishing each other, finally becoming a perfect match.
Before getting married, you need to understand that you need to grind and polish each other. Don’t think about breaking up when you encounter problems; after getting married, don’t think the other person has changed, and you’re not suitable anymore. At this point, you need to be clear that emotions need to be nurtured and require joint effort.
Sometimes, emotions also need to be cultivated. If an emotion hasn’t been cultivated, it might just be superficial love. But if an emotion has been cultivated over time, it will become deeper and more profound, until you and the other person can’t be separated. This is when you’re emotionally intimate, and mutual understanding will come naturally.