The key to making someone like you doesn’t lie in “time” but in the content, manner of conversation, and most importantly, your own value and attractiveness.
We need to be clear that one person being attracted to another ultimately stems from the reward value the other person can provide, whether it’s physical appearance, emotional rewards, wealth, status, or family background.
In general, the more reward value a person can provide during interaction, the more they can attract the other person, and vice versa.
1. Can Long Conversations Build Attraction and Affection?
Can long conversations lead to love? Many have developed romantic relationships from long conversations, but it’s also common for such conversations to lead nowhere.
“Long conversations” can create a false sense of love. Generally, both sides are in the “blind date stage” and mistakenly believe that the other person likes them first.
Psychology states, “We all like people who like us.” When you mistakenly believe that the other person likes you, you will unconsciously start paying attention to them, get used to their presence, and develop a sense of dependence and trust. This all resembles love.
This leads to the deduction: “He likes you → You like him → You’re in love.” In reality, it’s possible that it’s all in your head, and your initial impression was wrong. This illusion misled you.
Women are more prone to such romantic illusions because they are more passive in relationships, have delicate and sensitive thoughts, and are good at interpreting the emotions and attitudes of others. They can get trapped without even realizing it, while the other person is just “raising a fishpond.”
So, if you’re trying to win someone’s favor in this way, I’d like to pour a bucket of cold water on you. “Wise men can be misled by their own cleverness.” It’s hard to say whether long conversations can make the other person like you, but you’re likely to fall for them.
2. How Can Long Conversations Make Someone Like You?
“Why do long conversations exist?” It’s because many people have been in similar situations and have hoped that such conversations could lead to a romantic relationship.
I want to elaborate on the relationship between attractiveness and reward value, as well as how to use conversation opportunities to create greater potential for love.
I’ve said that a person’s attraction to you is based on the reward value you can provide. The same applies to conversation. You must fully demonstrate and create your reward value during these conversations.
Honestly, even if you chat for a year or more, if the conversation doesn’t offer him any reward or value, you won’t have any attraction to him. Trust me, in the end, you will either become friends or become strangers who know each other well.
So, if you’ve managed to “seduce” the other person through the conversation, it mainly depends on the following factors:
- What is his impression of you?
In love, there’s a cruel fact: if a man doesn’t have a good impression of a woman at the beginning, he probably won’t change his impression no matter how much they talk later.
This is because men are “visual creatures,” and women are “auditory creatures.” Men care more about a woman’s appearance and figure, while women care more about a man’s wealth, status, and job.
So, if long conversations can make the other person like you, it means that he already had a good impression of you from the start or had a strong initial affection and desire to get in touch.
- What is the nature and content of your conversations?
If your conversations are nutritionless and casual, like just saying “good morning,” “good night,” and talking about the weather, it’s likely that even after chatting for two years, he’ll just see you as a weather forecaster or a customer service representative.
Because such conversations don’t provide any value, especially emotional value.
Emotional value, as explained by Encyclopedia, is “the ability to bring all the good feelings, the ability to evoke positive emotions.” People with high emotional value make those around them feel happy, comfortable, and joyful.
In a relationship, people seek happiness and fun. So, if you can make him happy and excited, make him think, make him infatuated… Congratulations, there’s a 99% chance he’ll fall in love with you.
To provide high emotional value in a conversation:
Firstly, the conversation should be meaningful. Instead of just saying “good morning” and “goodnight” every day, talk about topics he’s interested in or at least willing to engage in. (Talking about life ideals is more useful than discussing horoscopes.)
Secondly, the conversation should create empathy and resonance. For example, if he complains about the challenges of his job and being criticized by his boss, you can express similar thoughts and feelings. Showing that you understand his feelings and share similar experiences will increase his affection for you.
Lastly, the conversation should be pleasant, fun, and relaxed. Always discussing heavy topics with him can easily create a negative impression, associating you with feelings of sadness and unhappiness. Instead, if you make the conversation fun, lighthearted, and enjoyable, you’ll create a positive impression and make him feel happy.
3. Have you demonstrated your reward value to him during the conversation?
It’s crucial for the other person to “perceive” your reward value. You must subtly and subconsciously reveal your reward value to him during the conversation.
Direct reward value: For example, if you enjoy dressing up and working out, then share pictures of your fitness progress and your favorite dishes. If you enjoy literature and the arts, then discuss movies, literature, and art.
Indirect reward value: If you have a car and a house, or if you have strong earning capabilities and come from an affluent family, these can also be conveyed effectively. Remember, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” These underlying high values can be a key attraction to him.
I must emphasize that this reward value must be genuine. If you want the other person to develop affection for you during the conversation, you need to make yourself really good, or at least make it seem that way. In psychology, this is called “impression management,” which means “the effort to make others have a positive view of oneself.”
Impression management is divided into two basic forms: self-presentation and self-action.
Self-presentation is a form of self-enhancement, trying to shape oneself into a certain image and character, preferably during the conversation.
Self-action is about catering to the other person’s preferences, a bit like praising, flattering, and pleasing. In short, flattering others is quite effective in relationships, as it makes the other person feel praised and affirmed, ultimately leaving a positive impression.
4. Is it the right time for him to be in a relationship?
There’s a saying, “The right time to meet the right person is fate.” Actually, the right time, if it meets the wrong person, can also turn the situation right. So, the “opportunity to meet” is very important.
If you’ve been chatting for a long time and he’s looking for a relationship, or he’s eager to find a partner, then he will gradually consider moving the conversation toward a romantic direction. In this case, the probability of him liking you is quite high.
But if the situation is the opposite, and he’s just come out of a relationship and is repulsed by love, or if he’s focusing on getting a degree and building his career and has little desire for love, then no matter how long you chat, he’ll only see you as a friend.
Finally, a word of advice: Don’t chat for so long with someone of the opposite sex. If you want to be friends, just chat occasionally; if you want to be lovers, you can transition from online to offline. Romance is something that needs to be practiced and experienced in real life. Chat with someone you like and trust, isn’t that better?